When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
DumasThe great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
Wednesday, 19 February 2014
Kardashian Charm: Kylie Jenner openly flirts & throws herself all over Jaden Smith (PHOTOS)
She just couldn't keep her hands and eyes off him and at a time,looks like he was struggling to break free..Lol
She is a beauty though.....See more photos below:
Nigerian Military Declares Massive Onslaught On Boko Haram after recent attacks
A statement by the military spokesperson, Chris Olukolade, said air and ground patrols have been stepped up in forests and hills of the affected areas.
He said the military will continue to enhance the effectiveness of its mission to curtail the terrorists.
“The fighting patrols by air and land are being stepped up in the forests and hills of the affected areas and other parts of the north east where the Boko Haram terrorists are hiding. The security forces will continue to employ necessary fire power to enhance the effectiveness of the mission until the terrorists are duly curtailed,” Mr. Olukolade said.
The spokesperson also said the recent attack on civilians by the insurgents will not deter the military from its onslaught on the outlawed group.
Over 100 people have been killed in different Borno villages by the Boko Haram, who spend hours in each
village burning hundreds of houses.
Mr. Olukolade explained that the terrorists attacking the villages and killing innocent civilians were those escaping from the military onslaught against their makeshift hideout along the border and entry point from neighbouring countries.
He also said the locations prone to attacks have been reinforced while the affected areas are now under heightened surveillance and patrols.
The spokesperson said some suspected perpetrators of the recent assault have also been apprehended and weapons recovered from them.
He appealed to the general public to exercise patience and encouraged Nigerians to provide useful information to curb the activities of the fleeing terrorists.
LMAO!! A MUST READ!!!!! SANITY Vs INSANITY
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they
were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into
the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna
promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim
out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the
news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to respond
rationally to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another
patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound
mind.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the
bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so
sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, when I pulled put him out of the pool he was so wet and I had to hang him there to dry. How
soon can I go home?"
were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into
the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna
promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim
out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the
news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to respond
rationally to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another
patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound
mind.
The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the
bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so
sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, when I pulled put him out of the pool he was so wet and I had to hang him there to dry. How
soon can I go home?"
Karen Igho announces she's cancer free
On December 18th 2013, BBA winner and actress Karen Igho announced that she had cancer. She left Nigeria shortly afterwards to the UK for treatment. She took to twitter this afternoon to announce that she's cancer free. We thank God. See her tweets below:
Checkout Burnaboy's new neck tattoo (PHOTO)
Thursday, 13 February 2014
These are Séx Toys and Not Real Humans and they are Real. Seriously.
There are plenty of exhibitors at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, but these are the weirdest new additions we could find this year.
The sex industry likes to think its on the cutting edge of extracurriculars, but these "new" products just made us giggle. Would you try them?
Just be warned that some people are likely to find the photos below disturbing, and they are definitely not safe for work.
Real Dolls
The Real Doll line of sex dolls have been around for a while, but now they're getting a little too real. For just $8,500, you can own a life-like rendering of famous porn stars. For a little more, the Real Doll company will render anyone you like into one of these. Remember the last time you were in a department store and a mannequin scared you because you thought it was a real person lurking in the shadows? Yeah, we were worried that the Jessica Drake Real Doll clone might attack us.
Brony Plugs
Hydromax
If you're afraid your penis is too small, the Hydromax is here to help (though therapy might be cheaper and more effective). You use the Hydromax in the shower and the manufacturer claims that this water vacuum pump "creates a vacuum which expands the penis to full erection, and in most cases, slightly more."
Extracurricular Exercise Balls
Lube Fountain
Remember when your mom made you get rid of all your awesome baseball cards (yeah, we had the Tops Frank Thomas rookie card, too)? Well, now, as an adult, you can start a collection again with The Adult Trading Card Company.Their website lets you create your own trading cards (humblebrag), and if you pay just a little more, your favorite adult actress will sign them for you.
My Private Pillow
The guys who made My Private Pillow told us that the average American has six pillows. SIX PILLOWS. Well, finally there's a purpose for all those extra sham pillows that you throw off the bed every night anyway. My Private Pillow has a secret pouch where you can hide all your weird toys. Or your cash. Or your weed, if you live in Colorado.
Weed Smokin' Genitalia Pipe
The App That Welcomes Your Creepy Drawings
Source: HuffPost.com
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)